Disrupting The Legacy Poke Industry™
🚀 Pokes Delivered
1,337,420
web-scale™
👥 Active Users
69,420
definitely not bots
💰 VC Funding
$4.20M
burn rate: 🔥
⚡ Uptime
99.999%
(allegedly)
↓ LIVE POKE ACTIVITY ↓
Over 16,535 pokes have been sent through our enterprise-grade poke delivery infrastructure. Watch as users around the world engage in the ancient art of digital poking.
This is history being made. This is the future of social connection.
Loading live poke activity...
↓ REVOLUTIONARY FEATURES ↓
"It's like Facebook, but just the poking part. Genius."
— TechCrunch (citation needed)
HYPER-SCALE™
Sub-50ms poke latency. Edge-optimized. Kubernetes orchestrated.
GAMIFICATION
Achievements. Leaderboards. Dopamine loops. FOMO mechanics.
LEGACY IMPORT
Reclaim decade-old pokes. SOC 2 certified. Patent pending.
AI ANALYTICS
Real-time dashboards. Predictive ML. Actionable insights.
Based on independent research by our marketing team
LEGACY SOCIAL MEDIA
Complicated. Bloated. Has ads.
Simple. Focused. Revolutionary.
COMPETITORS
Irrelevant. Legacy. Not funded.
* May have been mentioned in comments. † Submitted but not featured. ‡ Citation needed. § In our dreams. ¶ Unlikely. ** Rejected for being over 30. †† Not yet. ‡‡ Fake news. §§ Terminal not found. ¶¶ Definitely real.
"This will change everything. Or nothing. Hard to tell."
— Tech Influencer with 47 followers
"I invested my life savings. No regrets. Yet."
— Anonymous Angel Investor
"It's like texting, but worse. Revolutionary."
— Totally Real User
Be part of the next unicorn. Or at least get a profile page.
* Just kidding, we'll ask for it later. ** Beta slots not actually limited. *** Your data is probably fine.
Pokebook 3.0 β — The Future of Poke-as-a-Service (PaaS)
Built with buzzwords, held together with hopes and dreams. Over-engineered for poking since 2007.
🎮 Easter Egg Hint: Try the classic cheat code. Or hover around. Or just type stuff.
© 2007-2025 Pokebook, Inc. All rights reserved. Patents pending (seriously). Your pokes may be monitored for quality assurance and investor demos. Not affiliated with Facebook, Meta, The Zuck, or reality.
No VCs were harmed in the making of this platform. Yet.